Being Despised

On mornings when I wake up remembering that vague bit of information about an anonymous group of people not liking my behaviour, I inevitably begin to spiral. “Who? What did I do? How can I fix it? Why can’t they tell me? Who are they? What did I do? How can I fix it?”

And yet I know logically that in a life of perusing personal goals we’re all bound to step on someone else’s toes. No one can like and appreciate everyone. Since I’m complicated, as we all are, I’m also destined to be misunderstood. And I’m learning that despite opening myself up to clarifying conversations, some people are happier believing I’m purposefully malicious than having to go through the work of understanding what actually happened. Sometimes choosing to hate is easier than learning to love, despite the crushing burden that comes with it.

Others’ reactions to our journeys of self-actualisation are just part of the game, and more often than not a distraction from what’s important: getting to know ourselves. Learning from mistakes is crucial. And if someone’s presenting obstacles to that growth, then that someone (who they’re presenting in that moment, at least) is not your person.

And now, here is one good thing that came out of 2020:

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