Discipline

I think it’s safe to look at my last couple of weeks as a failure.

These “daily doses” are meant to be written every day, of course, and I definitely dropped the ball. I know life happens and I can’t do everything, but there were definitely mornings when I knew I had the time. All I had to do was sit and write something, and I chose not to.

I have ideas for this project’s future and I am actively working toward making them work. But it will grow in directions I don’t currently expect, and that’s incredibly exciting for me. The potential is thrilling. In order for it to shape into something, though, I have to work on it. And that work has to be consistent.

But if I were to always be hard on myself for falling short on what I set out to do, I wouldn’t get anywhere. I’d easily spiral into self-doubt and find my work or lack thereof demoralizing. If I’m always thinking “This isn’t good enough,” and comparing what I’ve done to an ideal that’s not currently possible to reach, then I’m on the path of self-destruction.

Discipline is key. But I wonder how I can both discipline myself to get stuff done while celebrating what has been successful. I think there’s a useful feedback loop there. The good things that have come out of this project so far can be what fuels me to keep at it, and to make it even better.