Conflict Avoiders

I’m trying to be more wary of people who can’t handle any form of conflict.

Differences in opinions/perspectives are inevitable. When living or working closely with people there’s bound to be disagreements. So we all have to practice the skill of facing conflict.

Facing conflict requires an internal strength that I’m realizing some people just don’t have. You have to have at least an iota of self-worth. Although finding people who are fighting against the same injustices is important, at the end of the day you have to have some confidence to stand up for yourself and your own personal values.

A healthy dose of self-worth is crucial in constructive learning. In order to open ourselves up and be vulnerable to all the things we’ve yet to understand, we have to believe we’re worth improving. And I’m starting to see that some people don’t yet have that basic confidence and therefore can’t face conflict without running from it.

Confronting someone with a tiny platform of self-worth will further ignite their own shame. They will reverse blame, justify, minimize, and invalidate your reality. If you are going to speak your truth to someone who’s done serious harm to you, you do it to hear yourself.

Even though some people simply can’t hear or acknowledge the pain they’re causing because they’re filled with shame, often you are the one who needs to hear your voice. And trust me: there will be others out there who will love hearing it too.